Seeing to be loved.

“It is in such moments that we understand what the Catholic Workers mean when they say, “The true atheist is the one who refuses to see God’s image in the face of their neighbor.” Looking into the eyes of people who love us may be the clearest glimpse of God many of us get in this world.”
Shane Claiborne
(The Irresistible Revolution)

The sunshine is hazy as it shines through a thin layer of clouds this morning. It is a clear crisp day in Montana, a golden morning that will demand a walk later on this after noon. I have been pushing it hard the last month and a half to get a large amount of painting done. Painting, a long with my stamp prints. I have worked none stop, day in and day out, seven days a week with few brakes that weren’t necessary for staying a live! Last Saturday I hit the wall; I was so tired I couldn’t even think!
My friend Jake asked me to come and help him with cooking the church breakfast on Sunday morning (the church I attend does a free breakfast ever Sunday). The pastor spoke that morning on finding your joy and how joy was different than happiness. How, when we have the “Joy of Christ” it shines through us and could not be taken away by circumstances. He invited people to come to the alter, confess their sins and find joy in life again.
Through the serves I struggled to stay awake, I draw in my journal when I am trying not to fall asleep. I didn’t go up to the alter call, I never do. Even though I felt like joy was on the other end of the world from me. I went for a walk after church with Merle my roommates blue healer. We walked down town were I did a sketch of main street Whitefish. Avoiding several dogfights on the sidewalk we eventually made it to the train depot where I did another sketch of the cars and tracks. I complained in my journal for a while about how tired I was and then we walked home. The day turning from golden sunny to a snowstorm!
We met my friend Tress on the sidewalk in front of the house. She asked how I was doing and I told her more from my eyes than from my words. My words said that I was tired; I needed to rest and be away from people for a while. We talked for a bit, before she took Merle with her to go cross-country skiing up near Beaver Lake. I felt better after talking to her, I could see she understood and loved me even though I had nothing to give. I awoke Monday morning feeling refreshed and happy after a day of nothing and ten hours of sleep!
And the art continues and the story goes on! And life is beautiful and God shows his love through the faces around us, even when we are an ugly mess.