"La Cirque'"

"Now I swallowed it all and could never be full,

Now they call me a fool for leaving"

-Project 86

The snow reflexed the sky like an atom bomb bursting or perhaps walking into heaven for the first time.  I have to wonder if you would know the difference, if there would be a change from one brightness to the next?  Everything melted and ran to the still clear river as it molds under the bridge.  The dogs bounced up the road dragging sticks and stopping at exact moments to make yellow snow.

There has been times when I have wondered about joy and how truth connects with happiness.  I have been reading a couple novels by Thomas Disch who makes life out to be pointless and all of man's dramas nothing but comic no matter how gory!  He is a fantastic writer!  The only problem is is that he too believable and can put a dark cloud in a spotless day if you aren't careful.  I was thinking about him as I walked up the melting road blanketed with sun.  Poncho, my dog, was being even more of a clown than he normally is; running from one soft snow berm to the next and leaping full speed into the snow where he would stick!  Then he would roll over, out of his hole, yip and run to the next bank to do the same thing all over again! I compared his shear joy to Disch's depression and had to wonder if he would have been as likely to take the same point of view if he had owned a red heeler/Australian shepherd. You can't help feel the joy of life when you watch this crazy eyed furball bounce through life with happiness and trust that I love him.  He can bounce from snow bank to snow bank, he knows he is taken care of, he doesn't have to worry about a thing.  I wonder if we knew we were taken care of, if we could be clowns for a day or for the rest of our lives.  But wouldn't that be silly?