waiting for that something special.

 Today is a wedding day.  My buddy Scott and I are the honored photo crew of a friend who has put her trust in us to capture her dream day.  I awoke at five this morning with my stomach rolling like the Atlantic in December.  I have never seemed to get over the nerves, though I have shot many many weddings.  So much has to happen in just a few hours, sometimes seconds!  I have to be in the right places at the right time and get the shot, because there is no going back!  I have to think about batteries, light gear, cards, communication, time, weather and on down the road the list twists.  No matter how much I tell my self I have got everything in a strait line, I am balancing the fence and have done it so often that I don't need to think about it.  I am about ready to do cart wheels on the line  but who cares, I know how to do it so why let my head get out of control?  Well, I thought of this at five this morning as I watch the shadows play on the ceiling, and I asked the same question.  "Why do I feel this way, it makes no sense."  Yet, fear rarely does make sense, "what ifs" are just the next turn in the road and you can take the turn or run back yelling "I am not prepared" just as you get shoved back the way you came.  

  This painting I angiushed over most of the weeks, it is call "The Flowers Fade".  I felt like a fading flower when I was doing it.  It exhausted me and I wondered where my worry comes in to this piece.  Where are the nerves.........